It’s an interesting thing to have a blog. I don’t consider myself a terribly private person, but I don’t just broadcast to the world, either. I have a lot that I want to say, but not often outside of the context of relationship. The parameters of context are what focus what I have to say into something meaningful in that moment. Writing to an unknown audience, who’ll read this at an unknown time, leaves the focus only to me. And so I often draw a blank.
But today feels like a good day to write a post. I’ve been practicing listening to my quiet intuition lately – not the voice that authoritatively speaks in all caps – but the subtle voice, the voice that says, “Go for a walk today, you need it” or “meditate without a timer today”. And it’s been an interesting experience. I’m not sure exactly what I was ignoring last week, the week before, but this week, meditation has been more satisfying, less fractured, and quite interesting. I’ve found myself doing push-ups and sleeping at odd hours with dreams as interesting as my meditation, and leaving me with the same sense of a message, or desire, or I’m not quite sure what. I’ve been extremely productive in a job I’m ready to be finished with, without any change in motivation or energy. And today, randomly, I was blessed with an afternoon doing the work I want to be doing all the time.
What will be the result? Who knows? Hindsight is 20/20 and entirely made up by our story-telling minds. Right now, life is just a little better in the living of it, than it has been, and that’s enough. And if nurturing this quiet voice also leads to a bloom as pretty as the blooms exploding around Raleigh right now, well, that’s a bonus indeed.